Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize