Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
