is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
