...so i touched it.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
