That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I touched a dick in church today
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
