I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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