you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
