AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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