I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
