Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
