Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
there's paper in my vomit.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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