just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
