There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
