I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
NoShamevember. You game?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
