If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
