How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
