I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
