you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
