check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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