So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
