Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I have demons in me.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
