I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
