No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
