Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i think my tv is drunk
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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