okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Slut skills are useful in every country.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
