If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
