so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I'm really busy with my period
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