just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
