Duck Duck Cougar?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
