They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just found puke in my bra..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
