What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
