Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
