therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
