All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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