they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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