if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
