no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
