nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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