So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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