Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
