That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Text me some of your sweat
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
