It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
