I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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