Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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