looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
it glows. i had to have it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We're not piercing ourselves today.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize