there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
