Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
