I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
