it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
