i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
