I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
