i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
