Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Panties = found
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
