We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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