I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
