i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
